My Design Enemy: Myself

It’s almost like design has become stagnate to me. I look around and see all these talented designers, artists and I look at myself and feel that I am not growing. That everyone is swirling around with me with talent and knowledge yet I feel I know nothing. I start thinking to myself: when was the last time I really made something I loved? Not simply enjoying the design process, but also enjoyed the end result. I am my worst critic and I feel like I need to improve both in self esteem and have that urge to improve. For me it’s almost like seeing incredible talent stumps me. Instead of it making me feel more motivated, it makes me shrug back and think “I could never make that”. It’s a bad way of looking at things and I am working so hard to improve such a negative outlook. I fight with my inner self all the time. My mind is constantly at war with my heart. I know that I am a talented creative in my heart, but my mind chimes in and starts to discourage me. It’s almost as if my heart is the dreamer and my mind only thinks logically and cannot be creative. I am still young in my career and have so much room to grow. Yet I have seen myself grow so quickly since I’ve moved to SF. So I do know that I can make things happen. But sometimes I truly do struggle with myself. So what do I do about it?

  • I fight it. After moping around for a day or two, I get out of my slump and ask people I admire on how they create things. I am only going to get better with practice and by learning from the best.
  • I suck it up. Getting over myself and looking forward is so hard to do!
  • I think about my dreams. Focusing on the future and my ambitions gets me out of the pity party rut and keeps me moving forward.
  • I surround myself with people who encourage me. I hang out with people who encourage me. I avoid those people who try to bring me down on every little thing that I do. I spend my time with people who have the same dreams and ambitions as me and lead a healthy and beautiful life. Being surrounded by people like this makes me want to live a life like that and lead by example.
  • I start my own projects. I have one project in the works right now that I have been enjoying working on. It’s been slow moving but I hope to release it this summer. Fingers crossed! Hint: Fashion & iOS

I’m far from perfect. I make mistakes everyday. But life is about battling inner demons and learning to grow and get better at the challenges that I face. I love life and I love people. Conquering this inner enemy will pull me closer to the dreams and missions that I have in my life.

What do you struggle with when designing? Do you find yourself battling the inner negative voice that says what you can’t do? If so, how do you rise above it?

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18 Comments My Design Enemy: Myself

  1. Janna Hagan

    Great post Hillary.

    I often find myself with the same constant mental battle with myself when it comes to my design work, and sometimes even my writing. I feel that I can always do better or work harder to improve my work and myself as a better designer and person… especially since I am still only 20 years old.

    Like Missy said above, you’re one of the designers I look up to. You’re beautiful both inside and out.. and I can tell that through your writing on your blog. It’s not often I can say about people I haven’t met before, but your passion for what you do radiates and it’s very apparent. Keep up the great work and looking forward to see what you do in the future.

    Reply
    1. Hillary Hopper

      You are certainly not alone. The people you look up to always fight the same battles as you. Maybe they just get better at covering it up. I try to be as transparent as possible when it comes to struggles, especially in my career. Thank you so much for the kind words, it means a lot. It’s people like you that I hope impact and help to make your future and career brighter.

      Reply
  2. Erica

    It’s hard to believe in yourself sometimes, especially when you have friends in your field to constantly compare yourself too (and in my case a significant other!). They thing I’ve done to keep my head above the water is getting into letterpress and really enjoying that.

    Reply
  3. Missy Titus

    It’s so ironic that you would write this; you’re one of the people I consider one of the very talented artists and designers swirling around me. :) You’re quite inspirational, dear.

    Reply
    1. Amy Potter

      I was going to say the same thing! So comforting to know other designers/people feel the same way you do, not just about this subject but anything really! I always have to work really hard at turning that nagging jealous/overwhelmed-by-talent feeling into motivation to be the best me I can be.

      I try to just continue to work passionately, like you say about working on side projects and whatnot, and keep a few encouraging phrases pinned up around me. When I struggle I always try and remember, “You can’t give anything better than your best right now.” Those words both comfort me and push me to work the hardest I can so my best continues to improve. Helps for me!

      Reply
      1. Hillary Hopper

        Amy, those are great words of wisdom! It is true, if you try your very best, you know that is the best you can do. You cant really argue with that mind set. Only you can truly know what your best is. Keep up the great work! Loved your Aveeno tote on your website!

        Reply
  4. mike (@artisticdork)

    I get so mad at myself for straddling the line between design and illustration. I love both and i want both to work, but it seems like I can’t find a happy medium that people in the design world will accept and the people in the illustration world will accept.

    I mean people still seek me out for work, so I’m doing something right, but I have this inner battle.

    Reply
    1. Hillary Hopper

      I think that finding an illustrator and designer is extremely rare. I would see yourself as more of a hot commodity, than as having that skill as a weakness. I am the same hybrid as you and I have found it to be extremely beneficial in my career. To be vector based is great for creating UI for mobile apps as well. Keep going in that direction. :) Be encouraged.

      Reply
      1. mike (@artisticdork)

        Thats something that I’m looking into. I have never completely done mobile UI. I love the mix of expected and un expected with mobile UI and seems like its so much fun, specially in the gaming realm. I would love to work in that realm (who wouldn’t now its a booming business :P )

        I do love being able to bridge the gap between the two but it seems at time a hinderance. I’ll never stop but I gotta keep striving for that balance and self -okay with where i stand.

        Reply
  5. Linda

    One too many times I’ve found myself comparing my blog with others and wishing I could be as successful as they are, but I have to remind myself that their success most likely didn’t happen overnight. Whenever I’d start to feel frustrated, I take a moment to remember why I started blogging in the first place, and that always helps me to gain better perspective of the situation at hand; looking back at how far I’ve come, I feel extremely proud of my accomplishments. In the future I’m thinking about a career in design, so I found this post really inspiring. Thank you for sharing your story Hillary.

    Reply
    1. Hillary Hopper

      Linda, you are exactly right! Wishing you are someone else will never get you anywhere but a dark hole you have dug yourself. I have certainly learned that lesson and continue too. A carrer in design sounds awesome! If you ever any questions regarding a design career please feel free to contact me at anytime.

      Reply
  6. Raj Dole

    I feel the same way most times. Even though I do love to design, I enjoy programming more. Often I design something I like today only to realize that it looks like shit the next. I constantly try to keep improving myself, learn from people more talented & experienced than me, but so far I’ve been unable to fight the feeling that my designs are one-dimensional; there’s very little variety. In the sense that most of my work are simple, clean and minimal. Making bold, out-there designs is something that I would like to learn. :)

    Reply
    1. Hillary Hopper

      It’s always great to be improving. Simple is great, but being bolder and coming up with cool ideas is always as good idea. I think a lot of us are just shy and worried about creating a new idea because of that the design community would say. But my advice to you is to not worry what people may say about your work and just do it because you love it.

      Reply

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